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Softy
Corner - Food for Thought
CHAPTER :-
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Do-Strategy - Your child is Special
Thought-Food - Mud Puddles And Dandelions
Worth-It - TV
Lovely Labels - Perseverant
Mail Bag - Tantrums
Do-Strategy –
Your child is Special
I’m that kid on every
playground
Who is always chosen last….
You don’t have to be my friend
If it’s too much to ask
Don’t laugh at me, don’t call me names
Don’t get your pleasure from my pain
In God’s eyes we’re all the same
Some day we’ll all have perfect wings
Each child is special. Each child is different. Understanding this
fact and then implementing various approaches to accommodate these
differences and develop them are the corner stone of great parenting.
The ensuing article while originally written for children with some
developmental disability, is equally applicable for all children. For
each child has his or her own set of unique strengths as well as
limitations. And often we ask – What can be done to help? What will
the future bring? What do I do now?
It is important to recognize that whatever label you attached to your
child (say naughty, shy etc), behaviors can be broken down into very
specific components. Once you do that, instead of dealing with
sweeping generalizations which are unhelpful, you will have identified
your concerns for the child in workable terms. Then you are in a
position to tackle the problem, instead of getting overwhelmed by the
label. To understand your child, look at him from different
perspectives. You must learn how to set up successful
experiences for your child – how to maximize strengths
rather than magnify weaknesses.
As parents, you are in a position to understand, modify and provide
for the right nurturing environment.
1. Physical environment:
Instead of blaming the child or being constantly tense about the
child’s safety and wellbeing, you can make simple but effective
changes in the child’s physical environment. This could mean having
childproof locks, bolts, raising the walls, enclosing balconies,
keeping all sharp, dangerous and fragile objects out of sight. Very
often, children are impulsive and do not recognize danger. There is a
very real danger of them jumping from heights, hurting themselves or
others, or breaking expensive gadgets. Childproof your home to suit
the needs of your individual child
2. Language environment:
With children, it is important to keep instructions specific and
simple. Learn to use an effective tone of voice with steady eye
contact and direct instruction
3. Emotional environment:
Children may have difficulty in understanding their own or others
emotional levels and expectations. You may have to clarify their
feelings and your own too. Being calm and organized will help your
child immensely.
4. Social environment: Your child may have a problem in getting
along with other children. Think of children in the vicinity or your
social circle who can socialize with your child to his benefit. This
would include children with better social skills, able to empathize
and play with your child. Avoid children who are aggressive or
excessively dominating.
5. Play environment: Depending on the age and abilities of the
child, play therapy can be successfully used to train and improve your
child’s abilities. In fact the whole thrust of Early Intervention and
Stimulation for children with developmental disabilities is based on
this premise. Play is a natural medium for children to enjoy
themselves and feel competent. This is a prerequisite to learning.
When children experience a sense of mastery and achievement in a
non-threatening environment such as that provided through play, it
makes them better learners. The young brain adapts itself to changes
in the environment and can change in structure and function for better
growth.
Research with rats reared in
complex and stimulating environments resulted not only in increased
brain mass, but in more neural connections. A better connected brain
results in better functioning. With children too, it has been proved
that if there are areas in the brain which are not functioning
normally, the remaining parts of the brain can be made to take over
those functions, provided adequate and appropriate stimulation is
given. This is possible in children because the young child’s brain is
still in a state of maturation.
Childhood is the critical period
for learning in one’s life, and learning through play is as natural as
breathing to the child.
For example, because of weak
conduction visual pathways a child may not be able to fixate or track
visually, in spite of adequate ophthalmic physiology. In such cases,
hanging visually attractive toys above the baby’s crib, or holding
black and white pictures above him are helpful. Also looking directly
in the baby’s face and talking to him.
For developing hearing sensory
ability, talking, singing to them, musical toys and chimes are useful.
Textured materials, rattles, hand-held objects are useful in promoting
hand grip and fine motor coordination. Musical toys like drums, piano,
xylophone and 2 handed toys and activities promote eye hand
coordination. With older children, dolls, toys and fantasy play help
resolve their conflicts. Using dolls and toys to enable children to
understand dangers, ways of avoiding them and promote socialization
skills are extremely useful.
Rhymes, stories and songs may be
used to teach concepts and social rules. Group games like running and
catching, blind man’s bluff, tag and individual games like swimming,
running, obstacle race promote motor coordination. Activities like
stacking blocks, inserting rings, threading beads, coloring within
boundaries promote fine motor coordination as well as concentration.
Clay work, sand and water play
and free play facilitate creative thinking which autistic children may
lack. Activities like pattern drawing, joining dots, mazes, puzzles
are important pre-writing activities which enable children who have
difficulty in pencil control to gain proficiency in writing. Spot the
difference, matching and discriminating activities, pattern
recognition, embedded figures promote reading readiness.
To develop memory, ask the child
to recall events, pictures seen and stories told. Identifying changes
in room layout, objects displayed require the child to recall the
previous arrangement and strengthen memory. Group games promote social
skills, children learn to give and take, share and care.
We have a wealth of play materials, activities, games at hand. We live
in a community rich in resources. With a little ingenuity and effort,
parents can plan intervention strategies for which the rewards are
great. With your help your child can compensate for his weakness and
succeed in life as a healthy, happy, productive individual.
Dr. Sulata Shenoy
is a Consultant Child Psychologist who can be contacted at Manipal
Hospital, Bangalore Ph: 5266441, 5266447 or Parijma Neurodiagnostic
Hospital, Bangalore, Ph: 2243634 or at her own Child center: Turning
Point Child Guidance Centre, Jayanagar, Bangalore Ph: 6636214 or email
at
sulatashenoy@hotmail.com
Back To Top
Thought-Food - Mud Puddles And
Dandelions
When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a
bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. My kids see
flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.
When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a person
who probably wants money and I look away. My kids see someone smiling
at them and they smile back.
When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't
have much rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen. My kids feel
the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know
them, they make up their own.
When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself
against it. I feel it
messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk. My kids close
their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they fall to the
ground laughing.
When I pray, I say thee and thou and grant me this, give me that. My
kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the
bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to Heaven yet. I
would miss my Mommy and Daddy."
When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty
carpets. My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross
and worms to play with.
I wonder if we are given children to teach or to learn from? No
wonder God loves the little children!
Author - Unknown (Received through email)
Back To Top
Worth-It - TV
Are you surprised to find TV as something worth
reviewing for children? Aren’t most parents tired of telling children
NOT to watch too much TV?
But without doubt it is also a
worthwhile medium. And definitely one with lot of educational value.
So through this column we request each parent to write back to us – as
to how you have used TV to enhance learning and development of
your child. We will compile the ideas and present it to all
the parents.
Meanwhile here is one such idea:
Keep a note book as TV scrap book next to TV. Ask children to note
down whatever interesting information they hear. It could be a new
word, about a new place, a new device they saw, a new animal –
anything that interests them. They can then present these at the
dinner.
(Assuming you do not have dinner in front of the
TV!)
Back To Top
Lovely Labels: Perseverant
To endure, to persist, to bounce
back – great signs of great characters. This is something that
possibly children are not born with - all the more important that this
needs to be inculcated through sensitive recognition and immediate
labeling.
Perseverant
(for those wondering what 'lovely labels' are –
please refer newsletter ‘Issue 6’ at
http://www.geniekids.com/bp6.htm or ask for it to be e-mailed to
you).
Back To Top
Genie Mail Bag – Tantrums
Mrs Ram writes in with this very common issue
My
son is 2 years old and has started throwing tantrums for anything he
wants. For e.g when he exceeds a certain limit of eating chocolates,
and if I say No to more, he starts throwing tantrums on the road.
Though I trying explaining why he should not eat more chocolates its
of no use. This happens to anything he wants.
People say its
common for this age. But can I stop this practice someway.
{Be gentle yet firm. And above all be
consistent.
Most of us show irritability or embarrassment by
scolding the child. And finally giving in to the tantrums. No reason
it is so common.
Instead, can we very gently and
sweetly tell the child ‘No’. And then no matter what tantrum the child
throws carry on with our firmness, with the smile. Soon the child will
get the message. However, if once we let go, other time we shout back,
the child knows that if he persists, he will eventually win! Lovely
label his persistence J
but do not give in to the tantrum. - Editorial Team}
This is what some parent’s say about GenieKids
Programs:
** What a great idea! It was a good
experience for the kids. -Ramya Sharma
** Good fun! Lots of activities for the kids!
Excellent! -Vishwanath Rao
** An excellent and novel way of encouraging
the children to develop their skills and their interests and
personality - Suma Venugopal
** An excellent way to allow children to
express themselves and grow at their own pace. -Vivek
** Great activities. The generation x should
experience all this. I enjoyed the activities here. I myself felt like
one of the kids!
-Bhaskara Reddy
** Very novel and stimulating for the
participants. -Chandrashekar
** We totally enjoyed the activities, Thank
you for all the effort. -Ramakrishna
** Its been a wonderful program. Do keep it
up.- Mr. Sachdev
** Excellent work done by the children. The
first such experience with me and the children Keep up all the great
work, the entire team of geniekids -Mrs. Kallapa
** My daughter is having a whale of a time
here . Keep it up ,very innovative -Gracy
** I enjoyed it as much as the kids, a fun
place to be -Nandita bhowmick
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